DO ROTATIONS DISTRACT?

Regular readers of this blog know that I'm not a big fan of rotating teachers (if you want to know why, here is a link to the introduction to that series). I'm sure there are circumstances in which rotation works well (and I'd be happy to examine each one), but overall, I believe the practice of making a schedule and having a different teacher each week for the main kid's worship time is actually counter-productive to effective children's ministries.

Aside from the inconsistencies in preparation, presentation, and participation, I think weekly rotations are actually a "distraction from the best." I know a very humble, very godly man who oversees children's ministries in his church. At least twice in the last year, he has expressed the need for "more volunteers." In fact, this last time, he has described it as a "dire need." The problem isn't that they have more kids than ever before. The problem is that children's ministry has been replaced with getting enough volunteers to fill the slots on the schedule. It has grown to the point that the focus is no longer what is best for the kids, but what is best for the volunteers.



Image courtesy of koratmember/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I imagine the process started with the innocent desire to make sure volunteers did not get too burdened with teaching week after week. So they created a schedule with Mrs. Jones teaching the first week, Mr. Smythe doing week two, Miss Looly on week three, and Mr. Grober on week four. That way, each teacher only has to teach once a month. But then Mr. Grober announces that he would rather teach every other month. So we either have to ask one of the other teachers to teach twice, or we need to get another teacher. Miss Looly is willing, but only temporarily until we find someone else. Meanwhile, Mrs. Jones calls on Saturday night to let us know that her family is going on vacation, so we ask Mr. Smythe if he can fill in. He can, but he doesn't really want to do two weeks in a row. We manage to plead and cajole and finally recruit enough volunteers so that nobody has to be stuck with the kids more than once every other month. All our slots are filled and all is well. Until we get a phone call from Mr. Grober....

A weekly rotation sounds like an ideal solution to "spread out the work," but it doesn't take much to derail the schedule. It requires us to recruit two or three times more volunteers than we actually need on a given Sunday, plus it does not guarantee freedom from burn-out. And before long, most of the energy is spent on getting warm bodies and figuring out how to schedule them. Soon, you have a volunteer or even the coordinator herself filling in for two, three, or more Sundays in a row and all they can think about is, "I'm tired of doing this every week. I haven't been in church for the last four weeks!"And, of course, there is the idea that Mr. Grober is here only because no one else wanted to do it that Sunday. That is the best we have to offer our children?

I have a testimony about my journey out of this cycle.  One day I will share it.  But for now, here are a few suggestions:

• Recruit to vision, not to need. Iimagine if children's church was regarded as "real church." Imagine if there were dedicated, sold-out volunteers who look forward to bonding with the kids week after week. Figure out what your ministry is about, what it looks like, and find volunteers that will buy in to that vision.
• Have a dedicated teacher.  Normally, that would be the Children's Pastor or Director, but in any event, find a consistent teacher whose "job" is to prepare and present to the kids each and every week.
• Watch your language. The phrases used in our scenario above are actual quotes from volunteers and leaders: "don't want volunteers over burdened," "stuck with the kids," "haven't been in (real) church for a long time," etc. Don't talk about children's ministry as duty or obligation. "If nobody else comes forward, then (deep sigh) I guess I'll do it" (doesn't that just bless your heart?). Instead, tell the leadership, volunteers, the congregation, and yourself about this great adventure called "children's ministry."

A HALF-DOZEN RECRUITING REMINDERS

When it comes to recruiting, I'm a simple, rather naive kind of guy. I think if a person hears about a need and they have a way to meet that need, they should meet that need. Simple, huh?

For years, I believed a self-imposed lie that I was "lousy" at recruiting. But I found that there are plenty of helps in this area and that, chances are, you are better at recruiting than you think. Let's take a look at six principles of recruiting (there are probably more). There is nothing new here, but it may serve as an encouraging reminder of some of the nuts and bolts behind recruiting children's volunteers.

• Bulletin announcements for volunteers are the least effective means of recruiting. If you use a bulletin announcement, make most of the announcement about how much fun and exciting your children's ministry is. End with contact information for any who might be curious enough to ask.
• Ditto with public announcements. 98% of the out loud announcement should be about how cool the children's ministry is. The last little bit should be something like, "And if you want to know how to get involved, see me after the service."  And whatever you do, don't beg, don't threaten, and don't bring sad faced little kids up front and talk about these poor children who don't have a teacher.
• Personal invitations are the best, most effective way to recruit. Some of the best children's ministry volunteers I've had the pleasure of working with are the ones I walked up to and asked if they would help. The downside of the personal ask is that a lot of people will also say "no." But for the "yesses", it is exciting.
• Don't confuse personality with technique. You can practice solid recruiting methods even if you don't have one of those winsome, charismatic personalities (you know the kind I'm talking about: the gal who, after one short conversation about the latest fashion, can get Mrs. Jones to help with crafts after you've tried to recruit her for the last ten years!). Effective recruiting can be learned and practiced no matter how socially awkward you may feel.
• Recruit recruiters. The beauty of recruiting is that you don't have to do it by yourself. Contact people who know people. Ask the leader of the mom's group to help you recruit nursery workers. Get in good with the high school leader to see if there are some on-fire teens who would like to get involved.
• Pray.  Yes, this should actually be first on this list and part of every other point!

What kinds of recruiting principles would you add to the list?

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME

You've got questions? I've got answers! They're in the link above that says "A Little Bit About Teacher Tim" (right next to where it says "Home"). Approach with caution.

 

While I'm certainly not a man of mystery (international or otherwise), I tend not to say a lot about me. A little over a year ago, some folks were asking about my background because they didn't know anything about me or my relationship to Children's Ministries.  I suppose for a steak dinner, I could lay out more details about myself than anyone would ever want to hear. But I'll settle for this for now (although the steak dinner is not out of the question, mind you).

 

This is not a resume (although if you and your church is looking for a children's minister, I will be happy to send you one). It's not even a decent cover letter. It is merely and over-simplistic summary of stuff that has made me me. And as always, all that I've been able to do as been by God's grace and mercy.  It's not about how cool I am, but about how incredible and awesome God is.

So go ahead.  Click on "A Little Bit About Teacher Tim."  Go ahead.  You know you want to.  And if, after you are done, you are curious about anything, just ask.  There are no off-limit questions, but I reserve the right to not always give you a complete answer.

Meanwhile, thanks for dropping by my blog.

THINKING OUTLOUD ABOUT THE CHURCH

Songwriter Bill Gaither once sang, "Let the church be the church. Let the people rejoice." While he was exalting the One True Church, there are many folks in local congregations today who are saying, "Let the church be the church, but what exactly does that mean?"

Even though the vast majority of churches in the United States have fewer than 100 members, the attention seems to be on the so-called "mega-churches" with attendance in the thousands each week. Smaller churches by the score have adopted some of the techniques and practices.  Many churches use (to some extent or another) contemporary arrangements in their music.  Their pastors have shed the suit and tie look.  There is a greater emphasis on looking, feeling, and being a church for the 21st century, where Christians and unsaved "seekers" alike can feel comfortable.

Already, the readers are taking sides. Let me state for the record, that I have no problems with "mega-churches." Obviously, those that reject the Word of God or otherwise clearly teach false doctrine need to be examined closely, but as I've read commentary about mega-churches, it's clear that a lot of criticism is based on envy, not on substantiated fact. A common observation is "since they've grown so large, so fast, they must be a cult." That's not the case. One could just as easily say that the small church is small because they are not being blessed by God. Bottom line: the size and style of the congregation is irrelevant to this discussion. Having been in a mega-church environment and having served in a small church environment, I can testify that both have very similar challenges, albeit on different scales.

Yet in spite of the whole "seeker sensitive", contemporary church movement, some studies have shown that people are leaving the church in droves. As Group Publishing's Thom Shultz observed in a recent blog,

"Over the last year, while working on a major documentary film that examines America’s state of faith and the condition of the church, I’ve talked with hundreds of people. Many of these are de-churched. They’re done with the organized church. In some cases, they’re wounded. In other cases, they’re simply disinterested."("The De-Churched: Why They Left," Holy Soup with Thom Shultz)
 

I'm certainly no expert, nor do I claim to have all the answers.  In fact, my thoughts today may very well be different a year or two or ten from now. But at the moment, I'm wondering if the very things that have attracted people to church might also be the things driving them away. I had a friend who professed no real faith and didn't care much for church.  But one Sunday, at the invitation of a friend, he visited a "seeker sensitive", contemporary church. I asked him later what he thought.  He said everything was good...good music, good atmosphere, nice people.  Even the speaker was engaging. But he would not go back, because it didn't feel like "church."

I believe, deep down inside, we want to connect with something bigger and grander than ourselves. I'm not defending the ultra-ritualistic church, mind you (and high worship is not my particular preference), but at least they've nailed the basic premise: God is bigger than us. Although my friend confused style with intent, his memories told him that church music was grand and a little hard to understand because God was grand and maybe a little hard to understand. The pastor wore a suit and tie because he represented the King of Kings. And when the pastor spoke from the Bible, it was eloquent because the subject matter was exalted.  There seems to be a need for tradition, for ritual, and for "deepness" in our hearts. We want to be overwhelmed by majesty.

Once again, this is not a criticism of the contemporary style of worship, for there is an equally legitimate purpose for this as well.  We do need to be sensitive to seekers and visitors, and we need to be aware that not everyone we're trying to reach speaks "church-ese." On the other hand, we need to figure out how not to alienate those who want, need, and feel comfortable with ritual, tradition, and the whole language of the church. This is the challenge of the 21st century church.

So to answer the original question: "Let the church be the church, but what does that mean?" I believe the answer is "yes."

Just thinking out loud....

MY FAVORITE AWANA MEMORY

Let's establish something up front: there is no "s" at the end of Awana!

For those who don't know what "Awana" is, it is a club (actually several clubs) that emphasizes Bible memory in a format filled with neat games, cool uniforms,  plenty of badges, and fun.  The letters in Awana stand for "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" (taken from 2 Timothy 2:15).  And even though it is an acronym, it is not written A.W.A.N.A. or AWANA (unless everything else is capitalized too), and it is certainly not "Awanas," (unless you are speaking of something that belongs to Awana, such as "Awana's legacy", in which case it requires an apostrophe to show possession). It is simply "Awana," and I still get that clenched-teeth feeling when I hear the word "Awanas." What does the "s" stand for? "Approved workmen are not ashamed sometimes?" "Approved workmen are not ashamed significantly?"  "Approved workmen are not ashamed, silly!"

No "s" at the end of Awana.

Now that we have that out of the way, I salute Awana and all it has done to reach boys and girls with the gospel of Christ and train them to serve Him.  My Awana experience began with listening to verses in Sparkies and then developed into becoming a leader, a director, and eventually Commander for five years. It was an incredible rush, working with outstanding volunteers, and watching our club increase each year.

But the strength of Awana can be seen in a kid I'll call "Bryan."  Almost from the beginning, Bryan stood out from our group for one reason: he would not say the Pledge of Allegiance!  I'm sure nearly every club has those kids who either don't know what they are supposed to do during the flag ceremony or who need some reminding not to goof off during the ceremony.  But Bryan did not fit into either category.  He wasn't being rebellious or silly.  He stood there, quietly and respectfully, but with his mouth closed and his right hand down at this side.

After observing this for a couple of weeks, I took Bryan aside and asked him why he didn't do the pledge.  He said, "My mom said I couldn't."  A few questions later, I found out that Bryan's mom was a member of a certain religious organization that did  not believe in saluting the flag.  I conferred with our leaders and we decided (right or wrong) that we would allow Bryan to continue to stand there, lest we alienate him and his mother.

A few weeks later, Bryan passed his entrance book.  When I congratulated him, he said, "My mom told me you didn't believe what I did.  But I showed her my book and said, 'Look mom, they use the Bible too.'  She helped me learn my verses!"  I inwardly jumped.  A couple of weeks later, Bryan told me that he liked coming to Awana more than he liked going to his own church.  Although overjoyed that Awana had struck a chord in Bryan, I started to feel a little nervous that this could lead to a terrible wedge between him and his mother.  But that faded when he added, "My mom said she might start coming to church here."

I heard that Bryan and his family moved, so I never got to meet Mom at church.  But I can just visualize this boy, entrance booklet in front of him, feeding words of truth to his mom.  That is one of my favorite memories of Awana and why, even though I'm no longer actively involved in the program, I remain a fan.

Just don't add that "s" at the end.

Awana display booth from the 2011 Children's Pastors' Conference in San Diego

A LOOK BACK AT THE TOP TEN (plus two!)

Since this is the start of 2013, and inspired by some of my blogging buddies, I've decided to do a list of the top 10 posts of KidServant's Log, as determined by Blogger pageviews. And since there are a couple of ties, it actually works out to 12 posts (everybody likes a bargain!).

So if you are ready for a proverbial blast from the past, or you're new here and want to see what you've been missing, then strap on your seatbelts and away we go.....

10. THE SEVEN SIGNS OF THE HOLIDAYS (December 1, 2011)
       Personal insights as to how we know Christmas is near.

 9. TURNING OVER A NEW PAGE (October 10, 2010)
      Announcing my decision to step down from teaching the Sunday Morning Adult Bible Study I had led for seventeen years.  My main reason was to concentrate more on Children's Ministries. If I only knew what was to come...

      DOING IT OVER: ITEM #3 (November 15, 2012)
       The whole "Doing It Over" series was about things I would do differently in Children's Ministries.  This segment on working with the church leadership, apparently struck a chord.

 8. VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL '10: "BACKSTAGE WITH THE BIBLE" (August 2, 2010)
      My review of our church's VBS featuring curriculum and songs from "Go Fish".  Great memories.

     A COUPLE OF MUSICAL FAMILIES YOU SHOULD KNOW (July 16, 2012)
      Rob Biagi and the Justin Graves Band: two musical families you should know

 7. TEN NATIONALLY KNOWN INFLUENCERS  (June 12, 2007)
      The sequel to people I've known personally who have impacted and shaped my life, this list contains people who (for lack of a better term) are famous and have helped me and my ministry.

 6. CPC '12: PRELUDE 2: "CPC, WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?" (February 23, 2012)
      This gives some reasons why I get so excited about the INCM Children's Pastor's Conference.

 5. RECRUITING LESSONS I'M STILL LEARNING (September 25, 2010)
      Remember when Aaron and Hur saw weakness in Moses and tossed him off he cliff for the good of the Israelites?  Just wanted to see if you were still reading! (I may have to blog about how my lesson turned out.).

 4. CPC '12: PRELUDE 1: "FIRST TIME ON A STRANGE PLANET" (February 8, 2012)
      A look back at my very first CPC experience.

 3. HOW I SPENT MY WEEKEND (July 28, 2008)
      Recounting the day I tried to clean and organize the office.  I'm surprised this ranked so high.

 2. A BIG AND SOBERING ANNOUNCEMENT (December 19, 2011)
      The heartbreaking post revealing my forced resignation as Children's Pastor.  It was, and still is, a confusing turn of developments, but my joy and peace remain in Christ.

 1. TEN OF MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY SHOWS (November 29, 2008)
      I did not plan this, but it seems my list begins and ends with Christmas themes! Although I've tried not to analyze too much, I'm wondering if people keep searching for "holiday shows" and wind up on my blog.

Two observations before we go:
1.  Most of my blogs are related to Children's Ministries.  This was a huge element in my life.
2.  With a few exceptions, later posts got more views than earlier posts.  I think it is because I have more network connections than I had when I first started. 

Or there was nothing else happening on the information superhighway.

On to 2013.......

CHRISTMAS SONGS THAT STIR

One of the best things about Christmas is the music.  From familiar and traditional Christmas carols and songs to more contemporary fare, this season is full of wonderful tunes, many of which stir up emotions, memories, and thoughts.

I don't have the time or room to list every single Christmas song that has this "stirring" effect.  But here are six, in no particular order, that strike me.

C'mon Ring Those Bells! One of the first contemporary Christian artists I began listening to regularly was Evie. Her Christmas album, with "C'mon Ring Those Bells." was everywhere. I liked the nice feel about it, the bounce, the way it gave glory to Jesus. I also evokes some bittersweet memories, as that song was playing at a Christmas party I attended with a former girlfriend. I remember feeling very out of place at the party (in spite of the great music!). Two weeks later, my girlfriend broke up with me. But it also brings up happy memories, as a woman at our church would sing this every year, bringing a smile to everyone who heard it. 

Now Is Born the Divine Christ Child.  This is a good song.  Really, it is.  But like most songs that stir our emotions, memories, and imaginations, the song itself is secondary to remembering where we were and what we were doing at the time.  In this case, I think it was our fourth grade Christmas concert. If I'm not mistaken, there was an international theme that year.  So the boys, wiggling and squirming in their dress clothes, sang "Oh Tannenbaum." And the girls?  Well, they sang "Now Is Born the Divine Christ Child" in French.  And there, I think on the middle riser, was Lisa.  Dark hair, red sweater, great voice singing out  "Il est né le Divin Enfant."  I could almost see her look at me and smile.  I've never thought of that song the same way again (as for Lisa, my friend's friend assured me that Lisa not only did not like me, but "hated" me.  Tough news for fourth grade).

Oh Holy Night.  This is what I call a "thrill of victory and agony of defeat" song. It's a beautiful song which I have sung many times.  In my car.  Alone. Seriously though, the part where the singer belts out "oh niiiiiiight..de-VIIIIIINE" evokes chills and even tears when done by someone competent.  But I've also heard less-than-talented singers try it, often with disastrous results (such as the attempt by the men's Bible study group. You can still see the hairline cracks in the building foundation). So "Oh Holy Night" produces that moment of anticipation which marks a memorable experience.

The Messiah.  Yes, that Messiah.  By Handel.  And I'm talking about the whole multi-hour performance, not the abbreviated kind where they lift "Hallelujah" out of the middle and tack it on to the end for a big finish. I've cleaned and organized large spaces to this masterpiece, not only because I can't sit still and just listen to a looooooong piece of music, but because I can't sit down.  This composition is brilliant and based on Scripture.  Not saying every portion is my favorite, but there's enough that just makes my heart leap out in worship and adoration.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. I get the strangest sense of melancholy when I hear this song. It's not that the message is bad. It's a nice, sentimental song, with affirming lyrics. But when I watch a Christmas movie or television show, what happens? The main character arrives at the lowest spot in his life. Things are bleak, he is in despair. The snow is falling. And then comes "Have yourself a merry little Christmas.....you pathetic loser you!" It's almost mocking the hero of the show. Go on, watch a holiday drama and you'll see what I mean.

Anything by Andy Williams.  No, that's not the name of the song or album, just Christmas songs by the famous and popular singer.Whenever I hear "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" or even the "12 Days of Christmas" adaptation "A Song for the Christmas Tree," I remember long hours sitting in the living room, listening to our stereo record player (which was the size of some modern home theatre systems!).  Happy memories of growing up on Walton's Mountain...I mean, uhhh, growing up in southern Colorado.

What Christmas songs stir up the emotions, memories, and thoughts in you?  Share them in the comments below or on Facebook.

CHRISTMAS WAR, PHASE TWO

I said it before and...no seriously, I said it before.  Right here in this post.  So I said it before and I'll say it again: I don't have a problem with the expression "Happy Holidays."

There is a cute music video making the rounds that has prompted me to once again lay out my thoughts regarding holiday greetings and the war on Christmas.

Yes, it's a cute song, but it misses the point: if all the decorations and every ounce of atmosphere is connected with Christmas, then how does saying "Happy Holidays" negate that?  The song lists all the fun things that would be eliminated without Christmas, yet I see no loss of the fun things where I shop. Nor do I know of non-Christians who have walked into their local mall, seen the tree, the lights, the ornaments, and a fanciful re-creation of a Christian saint and said, "All these Christmas decorations deeply offend me.  I was going to storm out of this mall in protest until one of the clerks wished me 'Happy Holidays.'  Now I feel better."

I used to work for a retail company owned by some nice gentlemen who were not Christian.  One was a self-proclaimed agnostic, both were fairly liberal in their world view, but they were both members of another faith tradition, which they practiced, uhhh, religiously.  Yet every December, they'd make sure all their stores were decorated in Christmas finery.  They would pass out Christmas bonuses. They would encourage each location to have an employee Christmas party.  I asked my manager (who happened to be a believer) about why our non-Christian owners would push Christmas so much.  The manager smiled and said, "it's good business."

There could be a million signs saying "Merry Christmas" (and yes, some stores have those signs).  But like the chain I worked for, it did not mean the same thing to me that it did to my employers. Now please don't misunderstand.  I think it is silly and illogical to have all the trappings of Christmas, but not call it Christmas. And yes, people need to be reminded of what Christmas is all about.  But the girl at the check stand making minimum wage is not the enemy in our annual war, anymore than was Bing Crosby as he crooned "Happy Holidays" in 1942.

For me and my house,  "Merry Christmas" will continue to be a theological statement, not just a greeting. And if somebody asks, I will be ready to give a reason of the hope that is in me (1 Peter 3:15). Meanwhile, folks: be nice...let's fight the war on the right front.

REMEMBER THE SWEET TREATS

You've no doubt heard the news that Hostess is shutting down and that the ubiquitous Twinkie will soon be a rare commodity. A friend of mine lamented about how a part of childhood will soon be gone.  Twinkies could bring a smile to kids' faces.  They were spongy, packed sugar, with a shelf life of a few millennial.  But Twinkies made no pretense of being a "nutritious" snack.  They had one function: to be a sweet treat.  That's it.

Yes, Twinkies were a sweet treat that could bring a smile to a child's face.  Could it be, as we get older, we forget some of these simple pleasures, even to the point of becoming cynical?

What is it about a singing purple dinosaur that proved to be a hit among millions of younger kids? And why did it seem like the adult world was so bent on cutting him down?  Granted, Barney was not high brow entertainment.  The acting would never win an Oscar.  The songs were not the stuff of Broadway legend.  The whole gist of Barney was in its theme song: "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family...."  Grown ups gag.  Little kids love it.  It's a sweet treat.

Have you ever seen a Miss Patty Cake video?  I heard one parent shake her head and say, "I'd go into a diabetic coma if I watched too much of this."  Harsh words, but her kids were mesmerized.  I've had the privilege of meeting Miss Patty Cake.  She is one of the most pleasant, level-headed adults I've ever met. I'm sure we could have a deep conversation on the intricacies of Christian education and the use of media in an increasingly secular marketplace.  But if there are preschoolers around, it's a "Patty Cake Praise day!".

"Yes," you may argue, "They are sweet treats, but at least they have a message.  They're trying to teach something.  Twinkies have no nutritional value at all."

But does that mean they're without value?  I've got to wonder, what is the cost of a child's smile? Is it okay to make a child laugh for no other reason than to experience the joy of hearing his or her joy?
In our children's ministry, we used fun things to illustrate, fun things to teach, fun things to help kids learn.  But we also used fun things for no other reason than fun.  For example, we used video countdowns prior to the kids time.  One of the countdowns (which we used near Thanksgiving) has a goofy cartoon turkey running away for some unknown reason!  The kids laugh.  It's funny. Aside from being a visual transition from one element of the service to the next, the countdown video serves no other purpose than to be funny.

But wait a minute...it's a transition from one part of the service to the next.  The kids are learning that a church service has different parts and that there is a particular time to fellowship with my friends and a time to get ready to sing.  I've been in adult services where the leader pleads in vain from the microphone to get folks back together after "greet one another" time.  Perhaps they'd benefit from a running turkey video countdown!

I believe we've lost some of the fun.  We've tried to make kids into young adults, expecting them to conform to the understanding of a teenager or above.  And we've forgotten the joy.  Jesus said to let the little children come to Him.  I've had enough experience with kids to know that, in general, kids don't like hanging around cynical, grumpy, world-weary adults.  There was something about our Savior that children liked.  I won't speculate on whether Jesus would multiply Twinkies for kids, but I'm sure He knew what fun and joy were all about.  May we never take that away from our children.

So grab a Twinkie (if you can find one), plug in an old cartoon, and remember.

(after writing this post, I've learned that some other companies may possibly buy the brand and save Twinkies from extinction!)

DOING IT OVER: ITEM #4

After 19 years of periodic children's ministry opportunities and 15 years as a regular Children's Pastor, I've often wondered what I would do differently. Being let go from children's ministries and being ever the student, I've asked myself this question in all seriousness. These are not the final answers, but they do represent a start.

• Introduction
• Item #1: Find better ways to deliberately connect with parents
• Item #2: Seek stronger ways to intentionally build leaders
• Item #3: Get the leadership on board
• Item #4: Do a better job at kid relationships.

ITEM #4: DO A BETTER JOB AT KID RELATIONSHIPS

It may possibly go without saying, but what I miss the most about being Children's Pastor is the children (duh).  Their energy, their joy, their laughter, and, yes, their times of sadness, and their sometimes brutal honesty were things I looked forward to each week.  One of our church leaders was puzzled by the whole concept of a dedicated children's minister whose focus was on ministry to the kids.  He concluded by saying, "I couldn't do it." That's right...he couldn't.  But I could..and did.

God has been good to me in the children's ministries in which I've been involved. I enjoyed greeting the kids as they came in, sometimes even loudly announcing their arrival to everyone (which elicited wide grins).  I loved seeing their excitement when I interjected their names on the "Happy Birthday" video segment. I loved circulating through the room during our opening "stations time," asking about their week and often praying with them about a serious situation. I loved to hear them sing their full praises to the Lord.  I've attended school programs and watched their faces light up when they see "Teacher Tim."  I've brought gifts to hospital rooms and homes. And even today, nearly a year after stepping away from "kidmin", it still warms my heart to hear kids excitedly whisper or call out when they see me.  This is the Lord's doing and I have been awesomely blessed. 

Was I the perfect model of what the online social media calls "kidmin?"  Of course not.  If there is a consistent theme I've been trying to get across, it's that I'm always growing, always learning, always trying to do things better. The key word has been "deliberate."  A friend of mine, seeing the outline for this series, suggested I had nothing on which to improve upon with kids. I am touched by her observation.  To quote a line in time for the holidays: "I really have had a wonderful life."  But if I was doing it over, here are some ways I would make things more deliberate, purposeful, and organized:

• Keep a master kid file with birthdays, school info, favorite things, etc.  While I found out this information through interaction, I really needed a coherent system to track things better.
• Get a master event list from the school and be diligent to attend concerts and sporting events in which the kids are participating.
• Make it a point to call or visit each child on a regular basis if for no other reason than to say, "I care."
• Work harder and better at remembering names and details.  I have to confess that, when our children's ministry had three sets of blond haired older/younger sister duos, I got confused at times. Name tag systems, regularly reviewing attendance sheets, or even asking a colleague to jog a few memory cells will help.

Thanks for dropping in to this series on "Doing It Over." I'd love to hear your comments and questions on this, or any part of the series.

DOING IT OVER: ITEM #3

After 19 years of periodic children's ministry opportunities and 15 years as a regular Children's Pastor, I've often wondered what I would do differently. Being let go from children's ministries and being ever the student, I've asked myself this question in all seriousness. These are not the final answers, but they do represent a start.

• Introduction
• Item #1: Find better ways to deliberately connect with parents
• Item #2: Seek stronger ways to intentionally build leaders
• Item #3: Get the leadership on board
• Item #4: Do a better job at kid relationships.

ITEM #3: GET THE LEADERSHIP ON BOARD

Children's Ministry as we know it today is a relatively new development.  Pioneers in the field remember 30 years ago when few, if any, churches had an actual children's pastor.  The first INCM Children's Pastors Conference in 1980 brought out a whopping 35 people! Today, many Bible colleges are offering programs in children's ministries and the CPC attracts participants in the thousands.

 

Unfortunately, one of the testimonies among children's ministry professionals is that the leadership of their church doesn't "get it."  It doesn't mean they are opposed to children's ministry or they don't see its importance.  It's just that the idea of a dedicated professional or formal program just for children is an unusual idea to them.

 

But church leadership, no matter its configuration (pastor and elders, deacon board, whatever), must be on board for a children's ministry to succeed.  As the Children's Pastor in our church, I tried various ways to inform the board of the church about what we were doing.  Like all the areas in our series, it was an area of growth; meaning, I didn't do everything consistently or deliberately or always effectively.  But if I was doing it over, here are some principles I'd put into practice.

 

• Find out what the leadership's expectations are for children's ministry.  If, for example, they are envisioning a glorified babysitting service and you're thinking interactive 3-D surround sound Bible adventures, there could be a lack of communication.  Make it clear.
• Cast vision.  Make sure the leadership can see, smell, taste what the children's ministry will look like.
• Be accountable. Depending on the leadership structure, make sure there is someone to report to and who will serve as your advocate and champion to the rest of the leadership (there is nothing lonelier than standing alone).
• Ask for remuneration.  This sounds  crass and unspiritual, but hear me out.  Not only is it Biblical to pay those who labor in the Word (1 Timothy 5:17-18), but we tend to place a higher value on what we have to pay for. If the subject of pay has never come up, the services provided may not be worth that much in the leadership's thinking.
• Regularly relate the activities and successes of the children's ministry programs to the other ministries of the church. Touch bases with other ministry leaders, not only to get excited about what they are doing, but to find out connecting points with children's ministries.

What is the relationship between children's ministry and your church leadership?  How can it be better?  I'd love to hear your feedback.

DOING IT OVER: ITEM #2

After 19 years of periodic children's ministry opportunities and 15 years as a regular Children's Pastor, I've often wondered what I would do differently. Being let go from children's ministries and being ever the student, I've asked myself this question in all seriousness. These are not the final answers, but they do represent a start.

• Introduction
• Item #1: Find better ways to deliberately connect with parents
• Item #2: Seek stronger ways to intentionally build leaders
• Item #3: Get the leadership on board
• Item #4: Do a better job at kid relationships.

 ITEM #2: SEEK STRONGER WAYS TO INTENTIONALLY BUILD LEADERS

There is something I need to get out of the way as I start this post.

 

For years, I believed a lie.  It was a lie I told myself, that ultimately interfered with the whole area of volunteer management.  The lie was this:

 

"Recruiting is one of my weaknesses."

 

I would tell myself this and I would tell others this.  But I was really confusing style with skill.  I have never had that charismatic '"x-factor" that propels people to follow me when I ask for help.  I beat myself up with the conclusion that I was "lousy at recruiting."  But the Lord (via my wife and some trusted team members) reminded me of some areas of growth and accomplishment, by His grace:

• There have been distinct times in which major members of our team were recruited because I personally asked them (personal invites are more effective than public announcements).
• Most of our volunteers had staying power.  In spite of the commitment, they still wanted to serve.
• I managed to get 40-60 volunteers each year for VBS. I know how I did it...and the answer is the very reason why I really wasn't such a bad recruiter after all (but that's the subject of another post).

Since this is a series about doing things over, I would want to practice the art of recruiting in order to grow and improve in the area and making the recruiting more systematic.

 

Okay, now that I've got the volunteers, how do I go about turning them into leaders? Like most of our series, these are things that I either did infrequently or perhaps I was aware of them, but did not implement them.  The key word (as we learned last time) is "deliberate."  As I grow and learn, I want to do more and more things on purpose.  So in terms of "volunteers into leaders:"

• Invest in one-on-one time with volunteers outside the ministry walls.  Even something as casual as a cup of coffee would be a great benefit to communication (obviously, for appearance and safety, the "one-on-one" time would be modified with female volunteers).
• Provide regular, systematic training opportunities.  We always had great training times, but they were usually sporadic, more like, "hey, we haven't had a training event in a while." I would develop some kind of benchmark series of trainings, with clear goals for each one.
• Make sure everyone has the big picture.  It is so easy to get caught up with the minutia of our particular area of service that we forget how it connects with the entire program.
• Be more organized with the "next generation" of kid servants. I was serious about raising up the pre-teen and teens to serve in children's ministries, but the details of organizing and monitoring the squad often fell to the side. If I did it again, I would delegate their management to one of my other leaders.
• Develop a select group that knows how to "do the stuff," so that if something happened, everything would continue without major disruption.
• Program, push, and promote vision.  Just like the big picture shows how everything fits together, the vision shows what the program looks like.
• Disciple, mentor, train, and invest in one young person who may be interested in becoming a children's minister.

What things do you do in your children's ministry to recruit, train, and develop your volunteers into leaders?

DOING IT OVER: ITEM #1

After 19 years of periodic children's ministry opportunities and 15 years as a regular Children's Pastor, I've often wondered what I would do differently. Being let go from children's ministries and being ever the student, I've asked myself this question in all seriousness.  These are not the final answers, but they do represent a start.

• Introduction
• Item #1: Find better ways to deliberately connect with parents
• Item #2: Seek stronger ways to intentionally build leaders
• Item #3: Get the leadership on board
• Item #4: Do a better job at kid relationships.

ITEM #1: FIND BETTER WAYS TO DELIBERATELY CONNECT WITH PARENTS
There is little or no question among children's ministers that the parents have the primary responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of their children.  Churches have addressed this belief in a variety of ways, most notably by implementing some form of "family ministry" (a term which, in itself, is not completely defined).  But no matter how it is approached, there is no question that parents are vitally important to a children's ministry.

I believe I had a very good relationship with the majority of parents in our children's ministry.  Hugs, handshakes, high-fives, notes of encouragement, positive feedback, and even negative feedback that some parents brought to me directly in order to deal with it in a constructive way--all these were part of my life as the pastor of these parents' kids.  I feel I was well-liked by most of the parents.

So when I was told that most of the parents didn't like what I was doing, it crushed me.  I found out later that there were actually only a couple of parents that complained, but still!  Being ever the student, I asked "what could I have done better?" Like all areas of ministry, I was growing in this particular aspect.  Two practices come to mind:

• I quit helping with "take-down" until the kids were gone.  That way I could greet parents and interact with the kids after our Sunday morning festivities were over (I posted about this here).
• I went out in the main foyer and began to interact with families there.  It was a "chance" happening, but one that I felt exploring on a regular basis (and I wrote about this here).

But if I was starting over, I would find more and better ways to deliberately connect with parents.  Here are some ideas:

• Call or visit parents regularly.  While I did this, it was way too random. I need a plan to (here's that word again) deliberately contact the moms and dads.
• Be more purposeful in "outside of ministry" activities. I bypassed a lot of opportunities just because of my schedule.  But I have to ask myself, "was I really that busy?"  Again, I need to deliberately do these things.
• Family participation events. I have to confess to being a little soured on this, because the last time we held a "family participation event", not only was it poorly attended, but a few parents walked out because they didn't want to participate! But it may be worth exploring some more...after all, I don't know everything! :-)
• Form a "parent support group."  This is sort of an ecclesiastical PTA.  They would pray for, help, and be the loudest cheerleaders for the children's ministry, as well as deflect criticism that might hurt the ministry.
• Create opportunities for parent training.  Maybe a once a quarter video series or guest speaker.

If you are in children's ministry, what do you do to connect with parents? And if you are a parent, what do expect from your children's ministry?

DOING IT OVER: INTRODUCTION

There's an old saying that goes, "I'm better than I was yesterday, but not as good as I will be tomorrow."  In other words, life is a journey in which we grow and develop. 

Ministry is the same way (or should be).  When I first began as a regular children's pastor, I already had about 19 years of on-again, off-again children's ministry opportunities.  I knew the basics of what to do with kids, but I didn't know much about modern children's ministry.  Fortunately, there were a growing number of resources becoming available.  I discovered our local children's ministry network held an annual conference, which I began attending.  I became a voracious reader and took advantage of opportunities to pick the brains of the movers and shakers in Children's Ministry. And then I found out about INCM's Children's Pastors Conference, which ignited a firestorm of ideas, wisdom, creativity, and possibility.  I was the Children's Pastor, but I was always very much a student.  And after 19 years of periodic ministries and 15 years as Children's Pastor, I was better than I was the day before, but not as good as I could be the next day.

But late last year, the proverbial wheels came off the trike.  Agree or disagree, our church board wanted to do things differently; thus, nearly overnight, I was no longer Children's Pastor. There's a lot that can be said about the process and claims and reasonings behind the move.  But ever being the student, I always ask myself, "What can I learn from all this?"  "If I could do it all again, what could I improve?"

So the next few installments will contain items I could have done better.  And it's not that I didn't do them at all, nor is it that I did not excel once in a while in an area.  But consistently, over all, what could I have improved?  Here are the four items (I'll add links as the items post):

• Item #1: Find better ways to deliberately connect with parents
• Item #2: Seek stronger ways to intentionally build leaders
• Item #3: Get the leadership on board
• Item #4: Do a better job at kid relationships. 

I look forward to your input and ideas as to practical applications to make these items a reality.  Remember, we're all learning.

THOUGHTS ON ELECTION 2012

Now that we've had a few days to catch our breath and calm down from either crushing disappointment or unabashed elation, let me throw a couple of thoughts out there for your evaluation:

I did not vote for President Obama, but he remains my President.

Notice I said "my" President.  Agree or disagree, support or not, the fact is that President Barack Obama is my President.  And if you are a citizen of the United States, he is your President too

Do you want a humbling attitude check? Try this:

• There is no authority except from God, and President Obama was appointed by God (ouch!)
• President Obama is God's minister to you for good. (double ouch!)
• Therefore, you must be subject to the President, not only because of wrath , but also for conscience' sake. (enough...enough...!)

Where did I get this from?

Romans 13:1-5 says: Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.  For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same.  For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil.  Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake.

It may help to realize that the Apostle Paul wrote this under the brutal reign of the Caesars. If the people in his day were to have this attitude in the face of such an offensive government, how much more should we exemplify respect and submission in our modern land of the free?

But as we pray for, submit to, and respect the authority of the individual occupying the Oval Office (by virtue of his position), we are wonderfully blessed in this country with the right and freedom to disagree with our government. We can speak out and protest and work for change because of the freedoms we have. 

So if Election 2012 did not go your way, let me challenge you to do the following:

• Pray positive for President Obama.  Pray for his health, his safety, his well being.  And pray that he have wisdom, especially the wisdom that flows from above.
• For thirty days, force yourself to refer to him as "the President", "President Obama", or "Mr. Obama." It's a simple exercise, really.
• For thirty days, do not tell any negative jokes about the President, don't engage in wild conspiracies about the President, and don't make up any funny names.  Another simple exercise.
• Celebrate wins.  Truly, if and when the President does something or says something right, it's a victory for everyone, not just one party.  You don't have to go overboard, but even a brief tweet saying, "Good job, Mr. President on those remarks" will help.
• Write letters.  Post blogs.  Email the White House.  Write your congressmen. Be respectful, but engage in your right to disagree.  Be specific in your disagreement.  Tell others why you disagree with certain policies.

Okay, these are "me and my house" suggestions, but I have found them helpful in focusing my own political energies.  We've got way too much to do and way too many problems to solve  to cross our arms, rail against perceived futures, or threaten to leave the country. As many a believer has mentioned leading up to the election, no matter who wins (or won), the Bible is still true, God is still on the throne, and the church triumphant is alive and well.

Comments or dialog are welcome, but if you get too cranky or abusive in your response, I will exercise my right to delete your post.  Thanks.