DOING IT OVER: ITEM #1

After 19 years of periodic children's ministry opportunities and 15 years as a regular Children's Pastor, I've often wondered what I would do differently. Being let go from children's ministries and being ever the student, I've asked myself this question in all seriousness.  These are not the final answers, but they do represent a start.

• Introduction
• Item #1: Find better ways to deliberately connect with parents
• Item #2: Seek stronger ways to intentionally build leaders
• Item #3: Get the leadership on board
• Item #4: Do a better job at kid relationships.

ITEM #1: FIND BETTER WAYS TO DELIBERATELY CONNECT WITH PARENTS
There is little or no question among children's ministers that the parents have the primary responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of their children.  Churches have addressed this belief in a variety of ways, most notably by implementing some form of "family ministry" (a term which, in itself, is not completely defined).  But no matter how it is approached, there is no question that parents are vitally important to a children's ministry.

I believe I had a very good relationship with the majority of parents in our children's ministry.  Hugs, handshakes, high-fives, notes of encouragement, positive feedback, and even negative feedback that some parents brought to me directly in order to deal with it in a constructive way--all these were part of my life as the pastor of these parents' kids.  I feel I was well-liked by most of the parents.

So when I was told that most of the parents didn't like what I was doing, it crushed me.  I found out later that there were actually only a couple of parents that complained, but still!  Being ever the student, I asked "what could I have done better?" Like all areas of ministry, I was growing in this particular aspect.  Two practices come to mind:

• I quit helping with "take-down" until the kids were gone.  That way I could greet parents and interact with the kids after our Sunday morning festivities were over (I posted about this here).
• I went out in the main foyer and began to interact with families there.  It was a "chance" happening, but one that I felt exploring on a regular basis (and I wrote about this here).

But if I was starting over, I would find more and better ways to deliberately connect with parents.  Here are some ideas:

• Call or visit parents regularly.  While I did this, it was way too random. I need a plan to (here's that word again) deliberately contact the moms and dads.
• Be more purposeful in "outside of ministry" activities. I bypassed a lot of opportunities just because of my schedule.  But I have to ask myself, "was I really that busy?"  Again, I need to deliberately do these things.
• Family participation events. I have to confess to being a little soured on this, because the last time we held a "family participation event", not only was it poorly attended, but a few parents walked out because they didn't want to participate! But it may be worth exploring some more...after all, I don't know everything! :-)
• Form a "parent support group."  This is sort of an ecclesiastical PTA.  They would pray for, help, and be the loudest cheerleaders for the children's ministry, as well as deflect criticism that might hurt the ministry.
• Create opportunities for parent training.  Maybe a once a quarter video series or guest speaker.

If you are in children's ministry, what do you do to connect with parents? And if you are a parent, what do expect from your children's ministry?

DOING IT OVER: INTRODUCTION

There's an old saying that goes, "I'm better than I was yesterday, but not as good as I will be tomorrow."  In other words, life is a journey in which we grow and develop. 

Ministry is the same way (or should be).  When I first began as a regular children's pastor, I already had about 19 years of on-again, off-again children's ministry opportunities.  I knew the basics of what to do with kids, but I didn't know much about modern children's ministry.  Fortunately, there were a growing number of resources becoming available.  I discovered our local children's ministry network held an annual conference, which I began attending.  I became a voracious reader and took advantage of opportunities to pick the brains of the movers and shakers in Children's Ministry. And then I found out about INCM's Children's Pastors Conference, which ignited a firestorm of ideas, wisdom, creativity, and possibility.  I was the Children's Pastor, but I was always very much a student.  And after 19 years of periodic ministries and 15 years as Children's Pastor, I was better than I was the day before, but not as good as I could be the next day.

But late last year, the proverbial wheels came off the trike.  Agree or disagree, our church board wanted to do things differently; thus, nearly overnight, I was no longer Children's Pastor. There's a lot that can be said about the process and claims and reasonings behind the move.  But ever being the student, I always ask myself, "What can I learn from all this?"  "If I could do it all again, what could I improve?"

So the next few installments will contain items I could have done better.  And it's not that I didn't do them at all, nor is it that I did not excel once in a while in an area.  But consistently, over all, what could I have improved?  Here are the four items (I'll add links as the items post):

• Item #1: Find better ways to deliberately connect with parents
• Item #2: Seek stronger ways to intentionally build leaders
• Item #3: Get the leadership on board
• Item #4: Do a better job at kid relationships. 

I look forward to your input and ideas as to practical applications to make these items a reality.  Remember, we're all learning.

THOUGHTS ON ELECTION 2012

Now that we've had a few days to catch our breath and calm down from either crushing disappointment or unabashed elation, let me throw a couple of thoughts out there for your evaluation:

I did not vote for President Obama, but he remains my President.

Notice I said "my" President.  Agree or disagree, support or not, the fact is that President Barack Obama is my President.  And if you are a citizen of the United States, he is your President too

Do you want a humbling attitude check? Try this:

• There is no authority except from God, and President Obama was appointed by God (ouch!)
• President Obama is God's minister to you for good. (double ouch!)
• Therefore, you must be subject to the President, not only because of wrath , but also for conscience' sake. (enough...enough...!)

Where did I get this from?

Romans 13:1-5 says: Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.  For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same.  For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil.  Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake.

It may help to realize that the Apostle Paul wrote this under the brutal reign of the Caesars. If the people in his day were to have this attitude in the face of such an offensive government, how much more should we exemplify respect and submission in our modern land of the free?

But as we pray for, submit to, and respect the authority of the individual occupying the Oval Office (by virtue of his position), we are wonderfully blessed in this country with the right and freedom to disagree with our government. We can speak out and protest and work for change because of the freedoms we have. 

So if Election 2012 did not go your way, let me challenge you to do the following:

• Pray positive for President Obama.  Pray for his health, his safety, his well being.  And pray that he have wisdom, especially the wisdom that flows from above.
• For thirty days, force yourself to refer to him as "the President", "President Obama", or "Mr. Obama." It's a simple exercise, really.
• For thirty days, do not tell any negative jokes about the President, don't engage in wild conspiracies about the President, and don't make up any funny names.  Another simple exercise.
• Celebrate wins.  Truly, if and when the President does something or says something right, it's a victory for everyone, not just one party.  You don't have to go overboard, but even a brief tweet saying, "Good job, Mr. President on those remarks" will help.
• Write letters.  Post blogs.  Email the White House.  Write your congressmen. Be respectful, but engage in your right to disagree.  Be specific in your disagreement.  Tell others why you disagree with certain policies.

Okay, these are "me and my house" suggestions, but I have found them helpful in focusing my own political energies.  We've got way too much to do and way too many problems to solve  to cross our arms, rail against perceived futures, or threaten to leave the country. As many a believer has mentioned leading up to the election, no matter who wins (or won), the Bible is still true, God is still on the throne, and the church triumphant is alive and well.

Comments or dialog are welcome, but if you get too cranky or abusive in your response, I will exercise my right to delete your post.  Thanks.

SHARING THE WINS

There I was in a fast food restaurant.

The workers were scurrying around like ants.  Counter people were taking orders.  Food preparers were busy squirting condiments, wrapping burgers, and dipping hoppers of fries into scalding oil. Some of the personnel wore headsets, talking to invisible people in the drive through and running back and forth between the window and the "food is ready" station.  It was all very efficient.  Run it in slow motion with a little chamber music, and it would have looked like a carefully choreographed dance routine.

I woman behind the counter (I deduced that she was a manager) walked back and forth between the drive up window and the screen that the workers look at to track the orders.  She glanced back at something else and then announced something to the crew.  I couldn't make out what she said, but suddenly the staff let out a collective cheer.  Food workers were high-fiving, counter staff had energized smiles on their faces, and everyone seemed to work a little faster and a little more efficiently, and a little....I don't know, happier.

Later, I found out what had happened.  There are standards as to how fast orders have to be filled, especially in the drive through.  The manager discovered that her crew, on average, was accurately filling the orders for the drive through faster (by a matter of seconds) than the standards.  She shared the news and everyone, whether they were directly connected with the drive through or not, shared in the excitement and accomplishment.

When leading teams of fellow servants, whether you are a children's pastor, director, lead teacher (or any other position in the local church for that matter), it pays huge dividends to share the victories.  A spiritual victory tends to encourage and energize.  You might say, "Hey, everyone, Lori shared the gospel with little Kenny in class today and he professed his faith in Jesus!"  Suddenly, everyone is pumped up, whether they have any connection with Lori's class or not.  Or maybe three more kids visited your program this week.  That's something to cheer about.

Not all victories are so obvious, so it's up to you to look for things.  "Hey, the deacons said we could use the left over paint for the classrooms!"  "The air condition is working again!" "One of our moms brought us donuts just because she appreciates what we do."  Sometimes, it's the little things that bring the most excitement.

Of course, there needs to be balance.  The key to this is do it often enough that it provides the shot-in-the-arm that your team needs, but not so often that it produces a little sigh.  But if you make it a point to share and celebrate the big and small wins together on a regular basis, you'll inject some renewed energy and enthusiasm into your team.

THE POWER OF TRANSITION

I came across a video on YouTube which reunited the stars of the Broadway musical Phantom of the Opera. Although we could slice and dice and chop the whole genre of musicals apart, there is no question that some songs have entered our artistic culture.  Plus, I love a well-sung song.

During this video, there are a couple of significant points.  At the beginning, famed composer Andrew Lloyd Webber introduces the actor/singer who originated the role of the Phantom: Michael Crawford (who also starred in one of my favorite movies: Condorman!  Yes, I am a geek). He is obviously touched by the response of the crowd as he is recognized for the trails he has blazed. The other point comes during the performance of "Music of the Night" (it starts at 7:40 is you just want to skip to it).

On stage during the video are four of the actors who have played the role of the Phantom over the years.  They take turns singing different portions of the song, to the enthusiastic reception of the crowd. And then, as the music draws near to its climax, out walks the man who is the new Phantom. He is greeted by his predecessors as together they finish the song.  But just as we think this deep moment is enough, Michael Crawford returns to the stage to both honor the new Phantom and be honored by the new Phantom.

I know you're all waiting for the "deeply significant or ultimately practical" point to all this.  Here it is:

Never underestimate the power of transition.

 

Did you ever wonder why there is so much pomp and pagentry as Presidents are sworn in? Because it shows an orderly transition of power. It's done slowly and deliberately, with Inaguration Day events that seem to never end! Can you imagine the outgoing President simply leaving without a farewell or the new President taking the oath of office and then dismissing the crowds?  Citizens would wonder, "What just happened?"

 

Sometimes the turnover in ministries is so rapid as to leave people bewildered.  Of course, there are times when a volunteer or staff member has crossed an unacceptable line and needs to be shown the door as quickly as possible. But at other times, the best thing that can happen is that the new and the old let the class, the group, or the congregation know that there is an orderly change, a passing of the proverbial baton. 

 

There are various ways to accomplish this.  Here are just a few:

 
• Going away and welcoming parties
• Formal introduction of the new staff member by the outgoing staff member
• Slide show acknowledging the accomplishments of the departing staff
• Passing on some symbol of the position: a gavel, a big stick (yup, been in that kind of ministry!), or a hat.
• Leaving notes with tips and advice in unexpected places.

 

There are no doubt other transitional techniques, but you get the idea.  Whatever you do, if at all possible, harness the power of the transition.  It quiets anxieties, helps get everyone on board for the upcoming changes, and lets everyone know that the ministry will continue.  After all, U.S. Presidents do it and Phantoms of Operas do it.

 

What things have you done or been a part of doing to ensure a great transition?



A SAMPLING OF SONGS (A VERY PERSONAL LIST)

I love the way music tends to stimulate our perceptions, speak to our inner being, and provide context to our memories.  There have been dozens of songs that bring back thoughts of days gone by: what I was doing and how I was feeling. There isn't a blog big enough to list every single song that has a significant memory attached to it, but I thought I'd share a sampling that come to mind and why they stick out in my brain.

• "The Warrior is a Child" (various) It's very common for those in ministry to create a shell, an invulnerable shield that no outsider can pierce.  I've been there (and yes, I still tend to do it!): not letting people see my failures, my weaknesses, my seasons of self-doubt.  This song is a reminder that I don't have to hide these things from the God Who knows everything there is about me.
• "Just Over the Horizon" (4 Him) This song spoke to me during a season of struggling to make ends meet (one of many such struggles) and wondering if the church I was pastoring at the time would continue.  At that time when I had no clue what the future held, what better reminder than an upbeat jazz-style song that speaks of eternal hope.
• "Islands in the Stream" (Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers). Several songs from the early to mid 80's come to mind, mainly because I was working in a shoe store at the time and they played a pop station in the background. But I could count on "Islands" playing at least twice a day and knew that the second time it came on, that my afternoon shift was almost over.
• "Frankenstein" (The Edgar Winter Group). This had heavy play during my youth. I remember waiting by the transistor radio with my portable reel-to-reel tape recorder waiting for it to come on so I could record it. I also remember long summer afternoons at the popcorn stand, which my aunt and uncle set up for me so I could earn money. Frankenstein was the highlight of my day.
• "The Trumpet Shall Sound"  from Handel's Young Messiah: this selection is done by the legendary Phil Driscoll.  The Messiah is, of course, in the proverbial class by itself and the famous "Hallelujah Chorus" is one of its better known arrangements.  Interestingly, in the usual multi-hour arrangement, the Chorus is past the middle, not at the end, as often performed.  But I digress...Young Messiah is performed by contemporary (at the time) Christian artists.  But when Mr. Driscoll takes trumpet in hand and growls out "The Trumpet Shall Sound," it is like being part of a ride.  As the trumpet sounds and the tones escalate, I feel like my body is straining to leave my shoes.
• "The mystery song" I don't know the title, I don't know the artist. I know the tune of the chorus and most of the song, but I have forgotten most of the lyrics. As for the tune itself, I wish I had a trained enough voice to reproduce exactly. You'd think after listening to it nearly every morning for the better part of nine months, I'd remember more of it. Hurtling through the early morning darkness in the southern Oregon fog, this haunting melody promoted peace (I contacted the local Christian radio station that I listened to. They have no idea what I'm talking about. No other Christian radio station knows either. I'm not crazy...really, I'm not...this was an actual song. Honest!)
• "Building His Kingdom, Reaching His Kids" (Alan Root). You never forget your first...CPC, that is. This was the theme and theme song of the 2003 Children's Pastors' Conference, the first one I attended. Whenever I hear this song, vivid memories of the sheer impact this week had on me and on the ministry I had with children come flooding back.

As I said before, there are many, many, many more songs of which I have deep, significant, or fond memories.  What are some of your songs that have hit you in the past or present?

A SHORT THOUGHT

Ever feel like saying what goes without saying, but you want to say it anyway because it's so good? This is a short post, but it's been going through my brain this morning:

Christians have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies in Christ (Ephesians 1:3). God has given believers all things that pertain to life and godliness, as well as exceedlingly great and precious promises (2 Peter 1:3-4).

Please note:

• Nowhere in these passages (or anywhere) does it say that there is a "child's plate" of God's blessings.
• Nowhere in all of Scripture can I find a 4th Person of the Trinity: the Junior Holy Spirit that is assigned to and indwells kids.
• When Jesus gave an illustration of the Kingdom, He didn't hold up Billy Graham, He held up a child.

Though it's been said many times, many ways, I'll say it anyway:

Kids are not the church of the future, they are the church of the NOW.

STATIONS THAT TEACH

A few weeks ago, I wrote about "stations":interactive, fun, and/or educational tables that allowed the kids to play, learn, and build relationships (you can read about "stations" here).

As I was clearing out some things from my home office/man-cave area , I came across something that is a good example of an "educational" type station we used during a series on the life of Abraham.

 Just how far is it from our church in Eagle Point to the land where Abraham walked?  Let's find out!

 Middle and older elementary kids could do this very easily.  We mounted a colorful calculator with large buttons on a stiff piece of cardboard for the calculations. Of course, adults were there to help...and to talk more about Abraham!

The kids got to stretch a string between Eagle Point, Oregon and the Middle East. This exercise helped the kids realize that the events in Scripture happened in the real, geographic world.

 Some pictures helped illustrate what Abraham's world must have looked like.  Again, it illustrates the reality of the Bible.

This was inexpensive to make and was one of our more popular stations when we had it up.  It was well worth the time we spent at the beginning of our children's church hour.

What kinds of props, lessons, or materials do you use to bring the Bible to life?

KIDS GOTTA PLAY

It had been a long day...one of "those" days of which children's workers speak in hushed, sympathetic tones.  The kids in our church daycare had been playing with all manner of toys and games, but it was time to clean up and do something calm. And quiet.

As the children were putting items in their proper places (more or less), one of the older girls (3rd grade, I think) approached me and asked why were we putting all the toys away.  While the un-spiritual side of my being wanted to snap, "Because I said so!", I just smiled and said it was time to do something else.  To which this wise young lady replied, "You know, kids gotta play!"

It was convicting, because my own fatigue was trying to overrule something I've known for a long time:  Kids need to play.  And giggle.  And laugh.  And have fun.

During my time as a children's pastor, we would set out "stations" for the kids.  Some of the stations were educational or related to the current lessons (activity/craft tables related to Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication; a measuring line to see how far two Biblical cities were on a map, and so on).  Other stations were just there for fun.  We had board games, toys, and even a paper airplane station once in awhile.  Our stations time went on for about the first 15 minutes or so of our "children's church" time (along with a snack station called "Snack Shack").  Beyond the time constraints and minor, common-sense rules (walking feet, take turns, etc.), there was no structure or apparent organization (although the geek in me set things up with a very exact pattern and flow in mind...but, shhhh, don't tell anyone).

A few parents got a little cranky with us.  They would observe the beginning and complain to the board that children's church was too "chaotic." But the reality is that most of the children were doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing; namely, playing with games and toys, or talking amongst themselves.  Granted, there were always a handful of kids that were, well, a handful and in need of some redirection, but for the most part, stations time went exactly as planned.  It was fun.  It was goofy at times.  And I'm sure that more than once, a parent asked a kid what he liked best about his children's church experience and that kid said, "I got to play Operation!"  And I can see that some folks might be concerned that there is no spiritual content.

But what is missed is the sheer amount of ministry that happened during stations time.  Our teen and adult team members were also playing foosball, checkers, or even making (or demonstrating how to make) paper airplanes, but they were also asking the kids, "how was school this week?", "what do you like to eat for dinner?", "how'd you like that cartoon the other night?" and so on.  As they were building rapport and relationships with the kids, they were also ministering.  It always warmed my heart to see a team member in prayer with a child who had just shared a deep need or watching a kid's face light up when presented with a Bible after telling one of our volunteers over a game of checkers that she didn't have one.  It was unstructured, but not unplanned.

Kids are wired for fun.  Stations time was a fun time. And we had games that existed for no other reason than to get kids laughing.  Songs like "Making Melodies" were absolutely silly, but memorable.  And yes, I love to have kids laugh during the lesson.  Obviously, we aren't advocating unhinged, careless, free-for-all mirth.  There is a time to be serious...and if you work with children, you learn how to modulate your voice and tone and signal those serious times.  But while the fun and the laughter may look "chaotic" to some adults, don't forget that joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit too..  And like my friend said:

"Kids gotta play!"

A SUMMARY OF PLAYTIME PARABLES

When I was a Children's Pastor, one of the tools I like to use was "Playtime Parables."  I would act out a Bible story or Biblical truth using action figures.  I used to do them live, plugging a video camera into the projector so all the kids could see it.  When some of our equipment changed, it got too awkward to do these tales live, so I began putting them on video.  The kids enjoyed them.

Whenever I get into details about Playtime Parables, I'm always careful to give credit where credit is due.  In this case, the idea, the inspiration, yea verily the genesis of this teaching element was something called "Toybox Tales."  Toybox Tales was the brainchild of Mr. Karl Bastian, a children's pastor..  Using his incredibly diverse collection of action figures, Karl presented a lesson nearly every week to the the kids.  And then, as an added bonus, he uploaded these lessons to his website, Kidology.  And not only that, he even provided a "how to" segment.  Being a bit of an action figure collector myself, I had to give it a try.  Thus, the birth of "Playtime Parables."
(and before I go any further: if you're involved in Children's Ministry in any way, I encourage you to check into Kidology by clicking the link. It is a membership site, but there are enough free areas to give you a taste of the plethora of resources available to members.  And if you want to see the art of using toys to teach at its finest, go to Toybox Tales.)

While some of our Playtime Parables are in a digital format, I haven't had the time or ability to get them in an easy to access format.  Plus our earliest ones are on an ancient medium known as "video tape", so those aren't totally available yet either.  As soon as I get them into an easy to transfer mode, I'll either upload them or put them on a dvd for others to enjoy.

So what did we do with a typical "Playtime Parable?"  Sometimes our stories would fit the theme for that Sunday.  Sometimes it would illustrate one of the Biblical principles we were trying to get across.  Others would be adaptations of Biblical stories.  I would make a rough script (which gave me room to ad lib), then pick the "cast:" the action figures that would star in the segment (between my own purchases and the figures I got out of Happy Meals, I had quite a few).  My "stage" was a purple storage bin.  I cut out the bottom and one of the long sides, then put backdrops, furniture, or whatever I had on hand to decorate it for the story.  The camera was focused on the stage while I moved the figures and provided the dialogue (using different voices, of course).  Made sure the kids could see and hear and awaaaaayyy we go (uhhh, "away we went").

So what kind of stories did we do?  Here's a sampling:

• Spider Man learns that Jesus is not only real, He alone is more powerful than any imaginary character.
• The crew of the Starship Enterprise learns how to be thankful.
• Little duplo/lego characters want to join a club, but have to be slimed first.  They find out they already meet the requirements and so sliming is unnecessary (we could actually show the sliming, as opposed to acting out the Gentiles being compelled to be circumcised!)
• A multi part series that crossed over Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz with the Chronicles of Narnia, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything (from Veggie Tales), and a couple of other universes.  Faith, courage, and dependence on the Lord were taught.
• A retelling of the life and ministry of Elijah, featuring the characters from the GI Joe movie.
• The familiar Christmas story about the little boy whose birthday is trumped by a celebrity (in this case, Iron Man); and the parallel of Santa upstaging a Christmas celebration.  This one was so popular, we repeated it a few years later.

"Isn't this a little trivial?" some might say.  Maybe, but some of Jesus' parables seemed to present some strange situations, like trees that grow at an phenomenal rate and becomes a haven for birds, or two blind men trying to lead each other around, with both ending up in a ditch ("how mean!" some would say). Some people "got it" and some people didn't. 

A Playtime Parables (or Toybox Tale, or whatever it may be called) is simply a tool.  It's not the centerpiece, I don't build the lesson on the presentation.  It's a short illustration using items that some of the kids probably have in their bedrooms.  I had a kid tell me once that he went home and began acting out his own Bible story using his action figures. And that blessed my heart.

Take advantage of the tools at your disposal....toys, funny skits, video...whatever you can use to fire up the delight of children and point them to the things of God!

A COUPLE OF MUSICAL FAMILIES YOU SHOULD KNOW

There is a certain percentage of children's ministers, workers, and parents out there who already know and love the performers I'm about to highlight.  For those who have never heard of them or their music, they are worth a check.  The neat thing is that these groups involve their own families.

Rob Biagi
Website: www.thatrobguy.com

from the Rob Biagi website

Rob has travelled all over the country and in many parts of the world making music for kids and their families.  His wife Kathleen choreographs the songs and Rob's son and daughters frequently perform with him on stage. 

I've had the honor of meeting Rob a couple of times at the Children's Pastors' Conference in San Diego, as well as attending one of his workshops.  He is genuine in his passion for the Lord and ministry. If this is your first exposure to Rob Biagi, then I recommend going to the website, exploring the content (he's got samples!), and then picking up some resources.

Justin Graves Band
Website: www.justingravesband.com

from the Justin Graves website

Hailing from the great state of Texas, Justin and his family perform in churches and venues throughout the United States.  I first heard Justin, Michelle, and Gabi at CPC in San Diego and was instantly blessed by their simple, yet profound worship and praise.  I met Justin at his booth later on and was impressed by his humbleness and desire to lead people in worship.

I woke up this morning with "Strong and Courageous" going through my head, so you know that Justin's music has "sticking" power.  Go to the website listed above, check out the pictures and videos, and get hooked up with some great music.


One last note: both Justin and Rob are on Facebook as well as YouTube.

WHY NOT USE VIDEO?

I've seen some kids totally mesmerized by a well prepared, well done flannelgraph show. This was because 1) some of the kids had never seen flannelgraph before, and 2) the teacher was so good, she could have used a bowl of dry oatmeal to get her point across.  But for a lot of children (dare I say the majority), static images on a felt background aren't going to engage the senses all the time. The fact that many kids are exposed to, engaged in, or absorbed with television, video games, movies, and the internet means that those of us involved in children's ministries should be ready to meet the challenge. While the age of the flannelgraph is not dead, it is not the only methodology available to us.

I am unapologetic in the structured use of media to minister to children.  Of course, there are those who would disagree:

• "Kids are watching too much tv today."
• "I don't allow my kids to watch cartoons."
• "Church isn't a place for entertainment."
• "Passive activity is bad for kids...bad, bad, bad!"
• "Back in my day, we had....flannelgraph!"    And on it goes.

I don't intend to get into a point by point refutation of the these statements, because I think there might be some legitimate concerns hidden within some of them.  Yes, kids watch a lot of television today.  Yes, plopping the children in front of the tv just to have them soak up cartoons for hours is not healthy. But what the above points fail to address is the idea that technology and media are tools that, when used properly, can be very effective in getting our message across. To borrow a time-worn cliche, let's not throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater.

PBS discovered early on that, by using colorful, goofy puppets and changing scenes relatively quickly, that they could actually teach such basic concepts as numbers and the alphabet.  Sesame Street was born.  I can still see some of the sements in my mind.  I can recite the preamble to the U.S. Constitution, not because I set out to memorize it, but because I learned a song on Schoolhouse Rock.  There have been studies done (our church's day care center actually participated in one) that demonstrate that video can actually be used as an active teaching tool. Why not harness that potential to help children and their families grow in their faith?

Yes, I know, media can be abused.  It can be abused by the world, and it can overused by the church.  That's a fair point.  After all, children's ministry is about relationships, not gadgets and gizmos.  But to many kids (except maybe those coming from a highly sheltered background), the "wow" of video and technology is the "cup of cold water" that can serve as the catalyst to build those relationships and to introduce or strengthen the ultimate relationship: the one with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Don't be afraid.  It can start with a television or a video screen.

After all, flannelgraph was once "new technology" too.

MILESTONE MUSINGS

Milestones have a purpose.

It was 29 years ago, June 18, on a Saturday morning, that I appeared before a select group of pastors and church leaders to answer just three basic questions regarding:

• My conversion
• My calling
• My convictions.

The "ordination council" in our church was a very rare thing.  The senior pastor would recommend a candidate for ordination (usually after a long period of observation and practical service).  A council was formed with a diverse mix of elders, deacons, and "pastors of churches of like precious faith."  I spent months creating a written answer to the three basic questions and now I had the privilege of answering these questions out loud.  It was simple and straightforward: read my statement, then answer questions about it.

Conversion...this was my testimony, how I came to trust Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

Calling...how was it I believed God was calling me into the ministry.

Convictions...my view of various doctrinal and church-related matters.  And this was what took the bulk of the roughly five hour council. You see, a regurgitation of doctrinal views I had in my statement was no sufficient. These men not only wanted to know what I believed, but why I believed it. And it wasn't just the basic doctrines either.  I had to give my perspective on hot-button, potentially divisive doctrinal issues.  And for good measure, the men came up with local church scenarios that would fill volumes of pastoral horror manuals.  Some of the men seemed to delight in taking "the other side" of the argument, just to see how I would respond. The time was designed to see if I was serious about what I felt God was calling me to do.

In the end, I was asked to leave the room so the council could deliberate.  A short time later, they called me back and informed me that the council had unanimously voted to "recognize my ordination." Why did they phrase it that way? Glenn Solum, my senior pastor, put it this way: "We are not here to ordain Tim.  God has already ordained him.  All we are doing is bearing witness to and affirming what God has already done."  And that was the most sobering thing I've heard, as once again I was reminded that all of life and ministry is not about me, it's all about God.

So it's the 29th year since I became an "ordained minister." And if it sounds like I'm boasting, it's not because I'm "Captain Clergy," but rather I boast in the awesomeness of my Lord and Savior. I'm just a servant...yes, at times a rebellious one...but a servant nonetheless. Anniversaries give us the opportunity to look back at milestones and see what God has done and look ahead to what He will be doing. Being between ministries, I don't know what the future holds, but (as the old saying goes) I know who holds the future. Thank you Lord for letting me formally serve you for almost three decades.

These are pics from the formal ordination service held a couple of weeks after the council.

WHICH MODEL DO YOU USE?

Do you minister to kids or do you baby sit them?

At one time, many churches saw ministry to children as strictly a "watch the kids so the adults can enjoy the service without interruption" element.  Fortunately, an entire generation has begun to focus on the MINISTRY portion of "Children's Ministry". There is no end of resources, conferences, and networking opportunities that zero in on a kid focused model, in which discipleship and spiritual growth specifically for children is the goal.

Over the years, I have observed two main models or mind-sets in churches regarding their children's ministries.  One is the Ministry Model and the other is the Child Care Model.    The following are some contrasts (as I see them) between the two:

MINISTRY MODEL: Child (and by extension, family) focused
CHILD CARE MODEL: Grown up focused

MINISTRY MODEL: Primary motivation for kids church is to provide age appropriate opportunity for kids to worship and grow in their faith.
CHILD CARE MODEL: Primary motivation for kids church is to provide an outlet for kids so they don't get restless and distracting in the adult service

MINISTRY MODEL: Kids can and do make spiritual commitments
CHILD CARE MODEL: Kids don't really learn anything

MINISTRY MODEL: Having a lot of volunteers means being able to provide maximum relationship building
CHILD CARE MODEL: Having a lot of volunteers means not being stuck back there with the kids for too long.

MINISTRY MODEL: Even if the lesson is easy, it still takes time and discipline to prepare
CHILD CARE MODEL: Easy-prep lessons, baby!

MINISTRY MODEL: Scope and sequence is important for keeping curriculum balanced and on-track
CHILD CARE MODEL: What's "scope and sequence?"

MINISTRY MODEL: Long term growth of the children
CHILD CARE MODEL:  Short term supervision of the children

The above is obviously a simplified list and does not mean there can't be some overlap.  For example, even though our primary mind set for kids church is for kids to worship and grow, freeing the adults to worship without distractions is certainly a legitimate secondary benefit.  And in this increasingly busy age, "low-prep" curriculums can serve an important purpose.

But the key element here is the mind-set or bent of those in leadership toward children's ministries.  I once sat in a church service where a very nice lady was announcing the need for children's church volunteers.  She said, "...and if we get enough people on the schedule, you'll only be stuck with the kids once or twice a year."  I cringed.  Later, as I made a commitment to full-time (albeit unpaid) children's ministry, I had more than one leader in the church shake their head with deep pity and say, "poor Tim...we need to get you some help so you aren't trapped back there week after week."  Before long, I realized that it was a mind-set that regarded children's ministries as the "child care" arm of the church and not a full-fledged, legitimate ministry by iteself.  I purposed to help change the mind-set.

Where is your mind-set?  What model do you feel your church may embrace?

LEARNING FROM THE KIDS' CHOICE AWARDS

The Nickolodean Kid's Choice Awards have come and gone and I'm the better for it!

No, I'm not a big fan of the non-stop screaming from the audience. Nor am I always thrilled with the nominees and winners, many of whom I wouldn't allow my own kids to watch if they were still in the targeted age-group. And after a decade and a half of clearing and cleaning our own set in our children's program, all I think as I watch is, "somebody's gonna have to stay late and mop up all that slime! (and I'm pretty sure host Will Smith isn't going to do it)." So why do I watch?

1. Feeling the pulse. What are kids watching? What are they listening to? What's "hot" in the world of children? For a couple of hours at the KCA, I get a mini-seminar on trends, tastes, and likes of the elementary, pre-teen crowd. By "taking the pulse", I'm better able to apply the truth of the Word to the world of the kid.

2. Staying up to date. Several years ago, a mom walked in with her daughter. "Hey, cool lunchbox! It's got Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup," I said, pointing out each of the PowerPuff Girls. The daughter's eyes grew wide and she looked up at her mom and exclaimed, "He knows who they are!" The thing is, referencing the PowerPuff Girls will not work today (ummm, yeah, I tried). The Kid's Choice Awards helps me find out what's IN today and helps me gain a hearing (or at least the proverbial "foot in the door") when I teach spiritual things. If the only thing you have to share is, "Did you know Selena Gomez was named favorite tv actress at the Kid's Choice Awards?", you've made inroads into the child's world.

3. Transferable concepts. Kid's Choice Awards know how to put on a show. Yes, it's loud. It's active. Like it or not, it is a venue where kids can act like kids. Scores of books and articles have been written about Disneyland and how they are masters at creating kid-friendly, engaging environments. The point is not to emulate everything that secular parks and events have. For one thing, it's not always suitable for church, and for another thing, most churches don't have the budget or staff to pull it off. But creativity can go a long way. This year's KCA involved kids at the outset by having them wave glowsticks in the air. Right away, we have a low cost, low tech thing we can do! The show announced the winners with sword swallowers (not recommended), flying blimps, robots, and other creative ways. Imagine bringing out this week's memory verse on a flying hovercraft toy or an endlessly deep bag.

4. Encouraging service. Believe it or not, the Kid's Choice Awards isn't all lights, slime, and sound. They have a service award called "The Big Help," which is given to a celebrity who has given back by way of service to others. It is all part of a year long effort to encourage kids to get involved in their communities. We can do that too. We can make thank you cards for all the church leadership, or pack care baskets for the missionaries. Some churches even do short term missions trips to other countries or lead in clean up efforts around town. If a secular organization can model serving others, how much more should the church lead the way!

5. Keeping it real. "Model this." "Emulate that." "Apply the other." Before you think I am advocating "doing it like they do at the Kid's Choice Awards," let's wrap it up with a very important distinction: I don't know if Will Smith, or Katy Perry, or Justin Beiber stayed after the show to talk to a kid about the loss of a pet, or pray with a child whose parents are fighting, or comfort a child who is afraid of bullies at his or her school. And having established such a strong connection, did any of the producers take advantage of the high honor and privilege of sharing the gospel with a child, or even helping the kids' parents share the gospel? It's been said before by more knowledgeable people than me, but we can build relationships better than Disney, better than Chuck E Cheese, and better than the Kid's Choice Awards. And that reality trumps slime, flash, and effects every time.

CPC 12: POSTLUDE: THE HIGHLIGHT VIDEO

Here it is, almost a month out of the 2012 Children's Pastors' Conference in San Diego and I realize I never posted the highlight video on this blog. Enjoy!

CPC San Diego 2012 from Cross and Crown on Vimeo.

CPC 12: PART 4: "FAREWELL TO THE FAREWELL TOUR"

Me and Red hangin' out at CPC

The line was long at the continental breakfast table in one of the courtyards.  But folks seemed in bright spirits as they got their muffins, bagels, fruit, juice, and coffee and headed for the final breakout of CPC 12.

I attended John Tietsort's presentation on applying the Bible to kids.  Like all the other workshops, this was top-notch, practical, and motivating.  Dr. Tietsort took the time to talk to me after the conference, inviting me to network with him regularly.  That is what sets the presenters and "personalities" of CPC apart: they are fellow laborers, fellow servants, a band of brothers and sisters who are there for one another.

The closing session featured Craig Jutilla.  What a testimony of a man who nearly lost his marriage and his life to doing too much and having the wrong priorities.  Without losing his trademark humor, he stripped away the outer shell and showed his vulnerability.

It was when Michael Chanley took the stage that I began to choke up.  The last session of CPC is always emotional for me, but seeing as this is my "Farewell Tour", this could have been my last CPC for awhile.  The CPC staff came up.  Earl Radcliff, a founding member of INCM, was recognized.  Michael was presented with a special plaque from a pastor from Jordan.

And then it was over.  Hugs, handshakes, high fives.  Luggage carts, lines to get the final cd's and dvd's, and last minute farwells. Staff flew into motion, dismantling the stage set and clearing out rooms.  Later in the afternoon, I walked to the front desk lobby and was amazed that every trace of the 2012 Children's Pastors' Conference was gone. 

Well, not quite gone. Hundreds of children's ministers are making their way back to their homes, carrying with them the lessons learned.  Networks and contacts have been established.  Not to sound corny, but CPC will continue in the children's ministries across the country and in other lands.

 For me, I've come away with a great deal more than I expected.  I even learned a few things about myself.  But that's another subject for another day.  In the meantime, here's just a few folks I got to connect with:

For a full week, from the church tour to the resource center, Carla and I kept crossing paths!

Sylvia Foth, director of Kidzana. 



Rob Biagi...great music and ministry

Brian Dollar with High Voltage Kids 

 Go Fish Guys

 And I finally got closer to the stage!





CPC 12: Part 3: "LIVING ON LEAP DAY"

"Every kids pastor needs another kids pastor to talk him off the ledge." (Sam Luce).

As I began this blog, it is Wednesday, February 29. It is also leap day, which adds a little twist to the quote above.  The speaker was Sam Luce, who, along with Matt McKee and Jonathan Cliff, appeared on a panel in our first general session of the morning.  The topic was networking with a community of leaders.  As one who has wanted to "leap" on more than one occasion (figuratively speaking, of course), I appreciated their wisdom.

Of course, the music was incredible, with Denver and the Mile-High Orchestra doing Solid Rock (a fave of the kids at VBS last year).  The days' breakouts were also uplifting. Steve Adams (current CP at Saddleback) spoke about re-inventing your ministry, something that hit me squarely where I am at this season of life. Matt Barnes, who is on staff at Rock Harbor Church, challenged us to evaluate our programs with "why?"

The evening general session featured Beth Guckenberger. I've never heard her before, but her ability to tell a story and her emphasis that the Word of God is the MAIN CHARACTER of the story made for captivating listening. Larry Fowler from Awana was honored. And then, Michael Chanley pulled a surprise: a performance by up and coming singer Jamie Grace.

Later that evening was FX LIVE, a family oriented "crowd show" that involves music, stunts, and games. I have to confess to being exhausted from the last couple of days, so after a last stroll around the bustling resource center, I reluctantly headed to my room (sorry Roger!). But unlike my last post, I got some pictures that hopefully capture some of the atmosphere and rooms. Enjoy.

My camera is woefully inadaqute to capture the stage. But I tried...

the famous Resource Center

CPC Store

Believe it or not, this is the Internet Cafe

CPC 12: PART 2: "A BUSY DAY"

I'm a bad blogger (sad face). Actually, I'm a tired blogger. But I'm also a blogger with no pictures of today's CPC adventures (Tuesday, February 28). I'll try harder for the next segment...honest!

But the "no pictures" and "no energy" feeling is offset by a very full and filling day. If there is one thing I've learned about CPC, it's that one goes away with far more than one had upon arrival. I'm going to (try to) break down Tuesday's events with just a few phrases:

General Session: great opening worship. Michael Chanley interviewed three children's pastors-- Mike Johnson, Brad Tate, and Mindy Spurrier--about providing a safe and relevant children's environment. M.C. was master ventriloquist Dennis Lee...never fails to have me doubled over in laughter.

Breakouts: "Ministry Seasons" and "Doing Good Leading to Bad" with Craig Jutilla and "Dealing With Difficult Parents" with Kurt Goble. All breakouts were good....I especially appreciated Craig's vulnerability and Kurt's down-to-earth approach.

Networking Lunch: boxed lunch containing something wrapped in a green stuff. Apple good. Meeting other warriors at one of the "leadership" tables better.

Afternoon general session: the legendary Jim Wideman received INCM award. His daughter Yancy sang (I'm one of only three people in the field of cm who hasn't actually never heard Yancy sing before). Keynote speaker was Reggie Joiner on working with families.

Dinner on the Town: Kelly's Steakhouse. At the table next to mine was a virtual Who's Who in the CM world.

Late Night With Lee: Dennis Lee showcasing great children's ministry talent: Rob Biagi, Miss Patty Cake, and Jana Alarya. Fun evening.

Kidology Gathering: laughing and sharing with Karl Bastian (the Kidologist). Received some great counsel regarding my "between ministry" situation. One of the greatest things about CPC is that I can open up and talk about what's going on in my life. Very refreshing.

And so, late at night, I finally arrived back in my room...physically and maybe a little mentally tired, but my spirit was full. No, I didn't get a lot of pictures, but I ended the day with far more.

CPC 12: PART 1: "THE SIGNS SAY...."

"I played my drums....for the One Who saved me!" And with the crashing sounds of the GoFish Guys and stage effects worthy of a rock concert, the 2012 Children's Pastors' Conference opened its first general session.

More on that in a moment, but first...

It rained today (Monday, February 27); which, as we all know, is perfect for driving the freeway system in southern California in a double decker tour bus. But that did not deter our hearty souls from starting our morning at 8 a.m. to visit three churches--two in Orange County and one in San Diego itself. Friends Church in Yorba Linda is a 100 year old church that looks like they have defined the word, "Innovative." Three stories and a basement through which run what appears to be endless hallways, but the attention to every detail can be seen in every room and station. Next came Rock Harbor Church in Costa Mesa, a church which has adopted a warehouse with great effect, creating eye-popping rooms for the kids. Our last stop was College Avenue Baptist Church, a historic church in San Diego that does amazing things with their environment on a low budget. One thing I noticed as I was sifting through pictures is that all three churches were very good at signage, letting folks know where they were going. Very important for first time visitors.

Later that evening was general session one. Some of my colleagues from the Rogue Valley Children's Ministry Network were there and we were able to sit together at a group table. We ate, we laughed, we joked. And then the lights dimmed and BOOM! The GoFish Guys opened with "I Played My Drum" (which I first heard as part of their version of "Little Drummer Boy."). It was a powerful way of launching the session. We were treated to an overview of the vision of INCM by new Executive Director Michael Chanley. I have to confess being one of the few who has not heard the incredible vocal talents of Yancy, but her performance really showcased those talents.

In an unsusual twist this year, Michael Chanley sat on a couch (yes, you read that correctly...living room furniture!) and interviewed Phil Vischer, creator of Veggie Tales and What's In the Bible. And then, following some hard driving worship from the combined talents of the GoFish Guys and Denver and the Mile High Orchestra, we were treated to a message by Greg Laurie, pastor of Harvest Christian Fellowship and speaker at the annual Harvest Crusades. He spoke on the prodigal son and how prodigals can return to the Lord.

Opening night at CPC sets the tone, and it would appear that the tone has been set well.

"Oh I like to ride in a double decker bus..."

Museum display? Nope...bulletin board display at Friends Church

Example of signage pointing to kids registration at Friends Church

Signs at Rock Harbor Church emphasize security

Lunch at Rock Harbor Church

Simple, yet creative stage design at College Avenue Baptist

What do you call the College Avenue Children's area? Follow the signs!

THIS is how you paint a kids area and label the office! (College Avenue)

This is OUR table! (another example of effective signage)

Rogue Valley Children's Ministry Network at CPC 12

CPC12: PRELUDE 3: "WHEN THINGS DON'T GO AS PLANNED"

I recently read that if you want to get something you’ve never had, you need to do something you’ve never done.

I don’t always do that deliberately, but sometimes I get dragged into it. And then I wonder, “What is God trying to teach me through this experience?” Well, maybe I don’t wonder that all the time. Indeed, at times I react with less than a Spirit-filled reaction. Thank the Lord for grace and mercy and lessons learned, even if I get taken out of the comfortable and predictable and I have no idea why.

I’m in San Diego waiting for the start of CPC12, the premiere conference dedicated to children’s ministries. Because I have no idea what the future holds (long-time blog readers know the story), I’ve jokingly referred to this as my “Farewell Tour.” Being as this is my seventh time at CPC, I know the routine of the conference, and I know my personal routine. I’m ready, I’m set, I’m pumped.

As often happens, I had a flight delay on my way. No problem. That, in itself, is part of the routine. I expect that. I plan a “travel day” just for that. That way, when I arrive at the hotel that evening, (hot, tired, sweaty, and hungry), I can just give my plastic to the front desk clerk and I’m soon in my room.

For the first time in seven years, my card was declined! I won’t bore you with all the details of the problem, but I spent a fairly good amount of time on the phone with the credit card company trying to get this fixed. The front desk clerk at the Town and Country was incredibly helpful and patient and understanding of the problems and figured out a way to keep me in my room until I could fix things (I always like to applaud great customer service!). Still working on details, but I thought at the time, “This is not part of the plan! What a way to start my ‘Farewell Tour!’”

As I went to bed, I knew I could at least look forward to the breakfast buffet in the morning. It has always been one of the highlights of my trip. I awoke with a headache, but even that did not deter me from doing what I have always done on my first morning in San Diego: get the buffet! As the hostess sat me at my table, I said in my cool, casual voice, “I’ll just have the breakfast buffet.” The hostess said, “I’m sorry, they did not put the buffet out this morning.” My cool, casual voice caught in my throat like a cat with its tail stepped on. No breakfast buffet? But…but….I’m Tim. This is my “Farewell Tour.” Oh, the humanity! For the record, what I did order was very good, but for the first time, I was unable to get the first morning buffet. Sad face.

Okay, nothing here is worthy of being called “dramatic life challenges,” but my routine has been disrupted! While I pride myself in thinking outside the proverbial box, my friends and family will tell you I will usually step out of that box when I’m good and ready. I don’t mind being unpredictable, as long as I can plan for it. But ever so often, it feels like God comes up behind me, places His loving hand on my shoulders….and shoves! And then I’m out of the box, outside the lines, out of my comfort zone, etc. I’m having to do what I’ve never done before, so that…hey, wait a minute! So that maybe I can have what I’ve never had. Hmmmmm.

I knew my “Farewell Tour” would be different this year, as I’m looking at things as one who is between ministries. Michael Chanley, the director of INCM, has said that there are new innovations this year in the conference. So the routine, which has already been different, will be even more so. And my “Farewell Tour” may just be the thing to force me to do what I’ve never done in order to get what I’ve never had.

Bring it!